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Have you ever taken the opportunity to know yourself on a different level?
- Yes, you may have read loads of self help books and research on how to deal with your emotions.
- Yes, you can clearly understand what the books say about emotional healing.
But, as is the difficulty for many people, have you found that reading is ‘one thing’ and actually ‘applying’ what you have learned in ‘real life’ is a whole other thing!
Many of us internalise our feelings, without processing, or often even understanding them, and why they have come up in the first place.
We often ignore our feelings, or ‘squash them down’ because it is inappropriate to express them at the time they arise.
How many times have you had to ‘swallow your tears’, or ‘choke on your words’ because your boss/kids/partner/family etc were present .., or you are in public and it is ‘not the place’ to feel and express your feelings’?
But those feelings don’t go away.
They are simply suppressed in a way that you do not give them conscious attention. And they ‘hang around’ in the background, until the right trigger comes along and gives them the opportunity to resurface!
Most of us do not come to realize that our feelings have always been there all along, even when we think they have been stored away forever. They surface at odd and unexplained moments when we least expect it. They come up inappropriately with people that had nothing to do with the original painful experience/s. This often leads to disrupting relationships with people we love and care about, and causes them confusion as they (and often You) have NO idea what provoked your behaviour in the first place, or how THEY were involved, or why THEY are bearing the brunt of your emotional responses – for often seemingly unprovoked reasons. This is when people tell each other ‘they are overreacting’… which then tends to make you feel even angrier or more upset – and you just don’t know why!
Mary-Lou, who has helped over 5000 people to clear their stuck emotions over the past 30 years, terms them ‘hidden shadow memories’ that you don’t even realise are holding you back from achieving your goals, or simply engaging in healthy relationships – be they career related, with friends, a romance partner, your parents, siblings or your children. These ‘hidden shadow memories’ often negatively impact our physical and emotional health too, in a way that we are not even conscious of. Mary-Lou helps you to identify, and clear these memories, and enables you to move into a healed life that offers you a freedom you never thought you could ever feel!
How many of us shy away from new love romances because we have been hurt by a past romance? This has the unfortunate effect of preventing us from fully immersing ourselves in potentially rewarding and healthy relationships, and subsequently denying ourselves what many people dream of most … that seemingly ever-elusive state of peace, connection and love, with someone that really ‘fits’ with us.
Many of us are completely unaware that our key childhood relationships significantly impact our relationship choices and outcomes as adults.
Bruce Lipton, the highly respected Epigenetic Cell Biologist who wrote the brilliant book ‘Biology of Belief’, helps us realise the astonishing and somewhat alarming statistics that show that between 95 to 99% of our responses and behaviours are rooted in the world of our ‘Younger Selves’…UP TO AGE 7!!!
Just think about that for a minute…do you REALLY want the 5 or 7 year old that you once were, to be governing 95 to 99% of your adult choices, behaviour and responses? And without you even REALIZING it? !!!
Have you heard the saying ‘show me the boy and I’ll show you the man’ ? This quote which (apparently) originates with Aristotle, refers to how important early childhood influences are in terms of the development of their character. Most early child development specialists would agree with this. More critical aspects of a child’s relationship to the world, such as ‘is the world I am in, a safe place? Am I loved by those who care for me? Am I valued? Am I protected? These questions are all decided unconsciously, based on the child’s interactions with caregivers. The Order of the Jesuits in the Catholic faith suggest that if they can have consistent access to a child until age 8 (as opposed to 7) they can effectively shape the child’s convictions as an adult.
DID YOU KNOW? – up until age 4, we are effectively in a ‘hypnotic trance’ where we are simply DOWNLOADING information. We are effectively like a video recorder, where everything you experience is stored directly in the subconscious mind. This is because the brainwave state until age 4 is mostly theta (which corresponds with being in a state of ‘semi-hypnotic trance’). This is in fact an essential part of survival, as we are identifying the world in which we live, and creating beliefs about how people around us behave. We test ways to react to (survive) any given situation or person. Successful ‘survival’ results embed in our subconscious mind as ‘tools’ to be accessed in the future, when similar situations requiring, what our subconscious mind perceives as, a need for survival, enter our realm of experience. This includes finding ways to adjust our responses or behaviours to accommodate the type of people we find challenging, or who make us feel uncomfortable or unsafe, no matter whether they are family or strangers. How many times have you seen an adult throwing a tantrum to ‘get what they want’ – they are often reverting to a successful behavior that worked at age 4, but is somewhat inappropriate at age 34!
DID YOU KNOW? – those early years are SO powerful, that it is an accepted fact that our personality is pretty much fully formed by the age of 4 years!
- One critical area of these ‘early years downloads’ is our parents’ relationship with each other, and their parenting style they adopted with us. What we observed and experienced of how ‘couples work’ are rooted in the way our parents conducted their relationship with one another as a couple, leading us to subconsciously recreate THAT relationship model with which we were familiar, or duplicating the very parenting style we hated as children!
It is often very distressing, or at best disconcerting, to wake up one day and realize that you turned out to be ‘just like your parent/s’!
- Another example is our childhood relationship with certain teachers who may have made us feel unintelligent or ‘not worthy’. Were you told ‘you will never amount to anything’ or that you are ‘just like’ a troublesome older sibling that attended the school before you? These school relationships commonly impact your work and career prospects, as you hold a firmly embedded silent belief that you ‘will never amount to anything’’.
Does it feel that you are unable to JUST QUITE achieve that promotion, or get that certificate? Or does each promising new work idea you have or important career project not culminate in success, even though you ‘just know’ there is ‘no reason’ that it should not have succeeded?
- This leads us to a last, but by no means least, example … that dreaded fear of failure. Do you, remember working as hard as possible to achieve those good grades, or excel at something particularly important to you, or your parents, and being told that your results were ‘not good enough’? That even a school grade of 99% got a response of “well – what happened to the missing 1%?” (!!) as opposed to hearing ‘Well DONE…we are so proud of you’? Or did you overhear, or were you told, that you are not as clever as a sibling, cousin or key friend of the family, etc?
If our efforts to excel were not acknowledged, or we were constantly being compared (and found to ‘come up short’) we often carry this into our personal and career lives, where it is ‘better to not start something, so that we don’t fail, or we constantly don’t finish projects and we just don’t seem to figure out why!
- An example of a variation on this fear of failure, is having parents who were themselves high achievers, and exceptionally loving and encouraging … and who always applauded your achievements no matter what they were. Now while this sounds marvellous in an ideal world, it is surprising how many people create a self imposed silent pressure of feeling that they need to live up to the high achievements of loving family members, so as not to disappoint them.
This personally imposed pressure can create the ‘hidden shadow belief’ that you ‘will never be as good as them and will ultimately disappoint them’ although you know they’d never actually say or even think so! And so is born the fear of failure from a completely ‘hidden origin’!
- Another difficulty experienced by many of Mary-Lou’s clients is that the reason that they are stuck in ‘emotional patterns’, is that the real reason for their limiting beliefs or inappropriate choices or behaviours, isn’t what they thought it was! An example of this is being sure that your seeming inability to complete a project is based on being told you were not good enough, or that you ‘never got the grades at school’ or that you never went to university or college’.
One client thought something along these lines, and what Mary-Lou helped them uncover was that their experience of childhood was seemingly wonderful – but they had no boundaries – their parents, who loved them dearly, were ‘free spirits’ who instilled no boundaries as they wanted their children to grow up to make their own choices. Now while there was NO denying their parents love for them, in THIS particular person, they felt “like a rabbit who was running and running, and knew there was a cliff and they would fall off one day, as there was no one to pull them back”! Effectively, this individual felt UNPROTECTED even though they felt very loved. This person was unable to complete projects as there was never anyone to rein them in, and getting to the ‘finishing line’felt scary and unsafe!
Other typical examples of hidden truths behind the ‘real reason’ for what held people back are:
- A person who had a fear of public speaking thought it was due to having a lot of childhood illness, and so was not able to engage in much social interaction as a child. As it turned out, Mary-Lou helped this individual uncover a repressed memory of being a 4 year old at a large family dinner, where this small child offered a small ‘morsel of 4 year old wisdom’ to the conversation. This person’s father (what Mary-Lou refers to as a KEY PLAYER) said to his child “shut up [child’s name] you don’t know what you are talking about”! … and so this 4 year old literally ‘shut up’ after that … as all of life thereafter – INTO ADULTHOOD – the subconscious embedded belief was that ‘I do not know what I am talking about’
Now be clear – this father had never meant to destroy his child’s public speaking career – it was JUST A THROWAWAY COMMENT!
But a child younger than 7 years of age does not have the resources to process that it was simply a throwaway comment, or simply ‘someone else’s opinion’ – as opposed to TRUTH.
The great news is that after Mary-Lou helped his ‘younger self to process the information and clear it, a new belief was embedded, the adult went on to secure the coveted and elusive promotion at work, which required a significant amount of public speaking.
- A person who was in a very religious boarding school where they were constantly exposed to ‘being a sinner’ made some very damaging life choices, as they were living the truth. They thought it was due to their parents getting divorced, but as it turned out, with Mary-Lou’s support, they uncovered the real reason for their long held ‘hidden shadow beliefs’ and they were able to ‘forgive God’ and the school (as a system, rather than an individual) and subsequently shaped a new relationship with God – of being a loving and completely supportive and forgiving, kind God. They too, experienced significant life improvements thereafter.
- One very beautiful lady (physically) who just could not lose the excess weight she carried all her life since childhood, thought it was because she had no willpower, and had an addiction to sugary foods and caffeine. She was unable to feel attractive or appealing to the opposite sex, and in spite of what others saw as her ‘extraordinary facial and inner beauty, she just could not see it herself, and could not seem to hold down romantic relationships. As it turned out, Mary-Lou helped her discover that her father’s very well meaning term of endearment for her, which was ‘my little funny face’ had such an impact on her Younger self that she always thought she literally had a ‘funny face’. The fact that it was her father was also significant, as she adored him (and he adored her and never meant to hurt her!), and so her male relationships were jeopardised. The moment a male got to step into the ‘love zone’ her hidden shadow belief kicked in which was ‘male adoration (father) = they think I have a funny face and I am not attractive’ Remember, because her father is a KEY PLAYER, and she loved (and felt loved by) him deeply, her younger self never questioned his words as anything but unshakeable truth!
Her subconscious mind therefore created a psychosomatic safety net for this unprocessed information, by keeping her body overweight as a means to justify what she believed was a lack of beauty and attraction for male love. Once Mary-Lou helped her (and her Younger Self – her subconscious mind) to process this information, and embed a new self empowering belief of her natural beauty, she managed to successfully lose weight…but not before she met a lovely man and engaged in a meaningful and lasting relationship.
ALL these examples and SO, SO many more (too many to tell all here) are covered and resolved in Mary-Lou’s Personalised Emotional Clearing with you. It is astonishing how many times she has heard the words ‘Gosh – I have never told anyone that before – I feel SO much lighter now that I have finally told someone – free of judgement!”
This process helps you make sense of Emotional Burdens that you may have silently carried alone for all your life, and then to be free of them at last.
Can you see how your emotional processes can have so easily become tangled up, because of well-established, unidentified dysfunctional patterns of thought and behaviour, that lead to erroneous belief systems upon which you make life choices that do not serve you, that can so commonly be traced back to your childhood?
It is also no longer a matter for debate that emotional feelings have a surprising effect on healing nervous ailments, like how you handle stress, anxiety and mental health concerns like depression. No less intense and problematic, but often more surprising, is the now well known effect of dysfunctional childhood experiences on our physical health expression.
- Who knew that arthritis could be an inflammatory expression of suppressed anger?
- Who would have thought that cancer could be so intrinsically related to harbouring feelings of disempowerment and anguish?
- How could it be that even an immune condition as aggressive as AIDS has scientifically been studied, and has shown a significant relationship with low self esteem? In her excellent book ‘Molecules of Emotion’ Candace Pert (the scientist famous for her groundbreaking work that led to her discovering the opioid receptors in the body) highlights research trials have shown that AIDS sufferers who were sent to Self Esteem elevating classes showed significant improvements as compared with the group that did not attend the classes! She discovered that a hormone that is released into your body when there are feelings of high self esteem, bumps the AIDS virus off the receptor sites in the body, and like little boats in docking bays, it occupies the space where the virus may ‘dock on’ again. This hormone is not released without feelings of self esteem being elevated.
- And how interesting that a lady in one of Mary-Lou’s group lectures reported how a continuous pain in her neck area IMMEDIATELY subsided after she got divorced, without reverting to any form of treatment or therapy. She had literally removed the ‘pain in her neck’! 😀
Childhood traumas and the resultant health-related challenges can be severely trying and testing, and engaging the support of a Practitioner like Mary-Lou, to help you embrace your difficulties and look deeply within yourself, can not only help you to find the answers, but also to identify those hidden shadow memories that you don’t even realise are holding you back or contributing to physical illness, or emotional health imbalances.
Mary-Lou offers you a tailor made, one-to-one process to explore as many of your conscious memories as you can recall, as well as exploring your subconscious memories, parents and grandparents histories and relationships with you and each other, and other siblings, as well as their and your views of the world at large. Together, you then work to change your relationship with the identified hidden or obvious memories, and embed new, more appropriate beliefs into your subconscious mind (your ‘Younger Self’) from which she helps you create the new healthier platform from which to make choices, and manifest behaviours and responses. Mary-Lou not only helps you to UNDERSTAND YOURSELF BETTER, but she helps you to create an ‘Emotional Tool Kit’ that you can use to navigate your way to healthier business and personal relationships, and ultimately a happier future ♡
For an inspired 10% Discount until the end of August 2018, Mary-Lou, with her impeccable qualifications, and backed by many years of clinical experience, is offering you a chance to better understand the importance of focusing on your own behaviors, and to discover how emotion is an integral part of you, as well as an avenue for personal growth.
This generous OFFER IS VALID UNTIL 31ST AUGUST 2018!
ONLY 15 ONLINE FULL DAY SESSIONS STILL AVAILABLE BEFORE END AUGUST
SO BOOK YOUR ONLINE EMOTIONAL CLEARING NOW!!!
BOOKINGS WILL BE ON A FIRST BOOKED FIRST SERVED BASIS.
Looking forward to supporting Your Self Empowerment